oh... I feel terrible

hihi

today... I feel like really crappy since I woke up... I don't know why but probably because my dad's gf and her sis are coming tonight...

During work, I tried to hold on my temper... however, I failed... I got in an agruement with one of my friend!!! nothing bad tho... just because I said something carelessly and he got mad... that's all....

Also, his going-away- dinner is on Tuesday. I don't know do I want to go or not... I don't want to go becasue one of my friend is going too... and I still remembered she doesn't like me that much.. and she is Jay's really good friend...then I don't want to go and ruin the party... that's the main reason. The other reason is I don't know... I really don't know why I don't want to go to the party.. this is the first time I feel like that. and of course.. I told him I don't really want to go.. then he got kinda mad.. I guess... but later on.. he said " I don't care!!! you can do what you want!!"

that time... I feel like " what the point I go to the party then... I am not wanted anyways... I am not that close to him anyways.. why bother.!!!" That's what I think. I feel like I am unimportant.. I guess I am pretty useless in his heart but hey... that's still hurt tho!!!

basically, he is just being himself and I am being myself... not any one's fault. However, I am not immature... I told my bestfriend why I don't want to go and he understands it...

I JUST DON'T WANT TO RUIN THE MOOD OF THE PARTY. Also, it's seems like he doesn't care am I going or not anyways.. so cheh... what the point then!!! ( that's the main reason!)

I am still happy about I am getting better and better on CS... I actually killed 4 people today... I am really happy... so I hope one day I am good enough to play with all my friends and beat them up... lol

night now